Why Feel 'Sorry'?

Earlier this month I lost my mom to a long term illness. The responses from friends and colleagues has been appreciated but it also got me to thinking about something they all say.  It's a strange time to be thinking about this, I suppose, but my mind, however subtly, is always picking up on the odd thing.

"I'm sorry for your loss."

It's a common phrase everyone uses to express their feelings, but in a way it doesn't make sense. It's one of those word shadings, where you might have several words that generally fit but have subtle differences in meaning. The word 'sorry' implies an apology for a wrongdoing. The dictionary says: "to feel sorrow, regret, penitence." To feel sorrow might fit the circumstance, but not quite, to my way of thinking.

 As to regret or penitence... Did the person speaking have something to do with the death? Were they responsible in any way? I doubt it, unless they're guilty of committing murder and they're sorry for what they've done. Since that's undoubtedly not the case, why would someone apologize for something that's beyond their control?

Another phrase that doesn't seem to be used as much is: "My condolences for your loss." That one word, condolence means sympathy for another's sorrow. To my way of thinking, that one simple statement says so much more. It conveys something a little more intimate without crossing any lines. It also subtly offers support in a person's time of need.

The sentiments expressed by others are always greatly appreciated. It helps the bereaved deal a little better with their loss and lets them know they're not alone in their grief. In spite of my penchant for examining word usage at the oddest moments, I do appreciate when those sentiments are expressed.

It's That Time of Year ... Again

What were those lyrics the Righteous Brothers and The Platters (?) used to sing about time going by so slowly? You can't prove it by me. This year seems to have fled, quicker than 2014 did. Time may be a relative thing, but even younger people agree it seems to be passing us by even quicker.

I looked back on my blog to refresh my memory and found, to my dismay, that my January blog held forth lots of potential but turned out to be little substance. In all fairness life loves to throw out curve balls, just to see what you might do under the circumstances that do present themselves. Then there's Murphy, who likes nothing better than to move in with his target and raise havoc. I think he found a summer place in my home.

My one success was in the single submission I sent in. There were a couple new ideas that got filed as well. I'd love to work on them but there are older files that need tending before they end up with long gray whiskers or are relegated to "retirement" homes for ideas that never quite made it.

Which brings me to the point where I make a list of goals for 2016. I'm carrying forward most of the goals I had for this year but didn't achieve. All those short stories I wanted to finish and get ready for submission. They're getting in a queue, complaining about seniority and who should be given attention first. And you thought football fans were bad when it comes to confrontations. I wouldn't want to get in the way of a story that demands it can't wait. That could get pretty ugly.

So it comes to plotting some and finishing others. There are three or four month-long writing challenges to keep in mind as well. Anyone who has taken part in those knows the boost it can give you, both in getting a first draft done and boosting your self-confidence. Believe me, my self-confidence could use a double shot, mega-sized boost.

And that poor quilt is still waiting to be sewn together. In my defense I have to say it's hard to get a sewing project done when you don't have sufficient working space. I am determined to get it done, if I have to hang the sewing machine from the ceiling. The pattern is easy enough, tumbling blocks  but I'm doing it a bit differently. If you've seen the movie, think Floating Mountains of Pandora, in Avatar.

Hopefully the coming year will be more conducive to meeting goals and 2016 won't fly past any quicker than did 2015. If it goes any faster, it'll whizz past us. What are some of your goals for the new year? Love to hear from you.

Where, Oh Where Has My Little Muse Gone?

Back in August, my muse went on vacation. I didn't mind since everyone needs a break now and again to recharge their batteries. The problem is, she never came back. I thought something might have happened  and even considered posting "Have You Seen..." notices. That would have been a tough move.

Did I work her too hard?  Not likely. The first part of the year was spent self-editing and polishing a story for submission which finally was sent in late spring. During that period, her time was pretty much her own. She had little to offer and eventually didn't have much to say. Maybe I didn't give her enough attention. Sometimes it's hard to say what's not enough or too much. I guess I never found a good balance.

She's had a bad habit of not seeing things through, leaving me with a backlog of unfinished stories and no direction in which to take them. Her beginnings and endings are great. The middles?  Not so good. She might come up with a vague idea to move the story forward but it isn't enough to plot around. So the begin/end of the potential story ends up languishing in a folder waiting for attention. That could be my fault.

I thought she'd be back after Labor Day, ready to toss out some ideas. After all, the best ideas seem to appear when you least expect them, from the most unusual places.

Maybe she's decided that I haven't given her enough credit for what she's done. When we, as authors are interviewed and asked about where our ideas come from, we never say, "My muse came up with that plot. She's quite clever."

 I don't know if that's what she's been thinking and decided it was a good enough reason not to return after her vacation. If it is her reason and she's found a new home, I can honestly say I'm disappointed and I wish her well with her new challenges. I do know it's been a struggle for the last three months to come up with some decent ideas on my own, either to start something new or finish what's been sitting around for who knows how long. (Without her attention to detail, I've lost track of many things).

What I'm not looking forward to is interviewing new applicants for the position. But, I suppose it will have to be done if I expect to finish anything. I admit that too late, I've learned not to under-valuate the worth of a muse. By the beginning of the year, I hope to find one willing to take a chance on a sometimes scatter-brained human.

I've come to the conclusion that muses come and go without notice. Few stay a long while. Maybe there's a muse somewhere out there who is willing to accept on-the-job training, not only in coming up with writing plots but offering suggestions in other projects that have little or nothing to do with writing. We can grow together and share other aspects of creativity.  When it comes to a multi-faceted life, like everything else, you get what you put into it.

Please... don't make me put up those posters.

In Over My Head

I'm like the majority of writers, always busy. When I'm not writing, I'm involved in some craft or other and making all sorts of things. I've been knitting and crocheting all my adult life and every now and again, I decide it's about time to learn a new craft skill.

It started several years ago when I found out the community I live in holds a Chinese auction every spring. I started making afghans. At first I made them for single beds, but eventually downsized them to lap afghans.  During the winter I can get three or four done. At least one of them has to be a new stitch pattern, something I haven't done before. I don't get into fancy stuff because it would take up too much time and goals wouldn't be met. A couple one pound skeins usually works out well for each one.

Last year I started a new project of making pet blankets. Twice a year I make 6-10 of them. They're not very big but the local pet shelter says they're the perfect size for washing. I took a guess at two super saver skeins per blanket and it turned out just right. Generally the yarn is left over from a bigger project and I might have to get an extra skein of a particular color to make a full blanket. Multi-colored yarn is the best for this. A simple crochet stitch and watch the colors form a pattern. Some of them are wild and others look like lego bricks stuck together.

Then there's the king-size quilt, the embroidery and cross-stitch, red work (black, blue, or green) that's just waiting to be needled. The toughest part of it all is not having sufficient space for supply storage or to get the work done. It's a constant challenge to reorganize and find more room, especially when the dimensions of the room itself are a constant.

I may be in over my head with all the projects I have lined up. No matter how many there are in the queue, I'm always looking for new challenges. If the project is simple and the work repetitive, then part of my brain likes to move on to other things. Like working out plot problems or fixing some dialogue I don't like. There's nothing conscious about it, no thinking, "Okay, I can do this in my sleep so let me think about writing." It just happens. And that's when I come up with the brilliant ideas to fix or advance my story.  Or maybe I found something for the heroine to do.

The newest projects were started early in the summer when I got interested in beading.  Some of the beads are small enough they don't want to go onto the beading needle. With them I might as well be playing Tiddlie Winks. Hit the beads just right and they go flying. With dark gray carpeting, they're hard to find, until you step on them. They don't hurt, you just know you've found them, and fortunately, they've all been recovered.

Time is the biggest enemy. There are only so many hours in a day to accomplish what you want to do. Unless you're willing to give up, say... eating or sleeping. Having chatted with others, (some aren't writers) there's one thing we all have in common. We can't wait to get to the next craft project, try out the new pattern or experiment with materials we've never tried before. The biggest challenge waiting for me is learning to knit lace. I have yet to do it right. I've got the right yarn, the knitting needles and the books. All I need is a sufficient block of time to concentrate on it.

So maybe I am in over my head and a lot of what I'd like to do will never get done while the list of future projects gets longer. It might be crazy but it keeps the creative juices flowing.

What keeps your creative juices flowing? Leave a comment and share your favorite interests.

When Knighthood Was In Flower

Every now and again someone comes up with an unusual question that piques your interest. About a month ago the friend of a friend asked an interesting question. My friend Angela, knowing my interest in English/Scottish history, thought I might like to tackle this one. On hearing the question I immediately formed a theory. Couldn't help it since the answer, at least to me seemed obvious. Just the same, I thought I'd do some research and see if I was right.

The question is:
 Why were some writers given knighthood, way back when and why not today?

So I did some research. Mind you, there was probably more I could have done but since I'm writing a blog and not a college thesis, I limited the information I looked up.

I went back to the time of Queen Elizabeth I since more attention was paid to writers at that time, as well as in her father's, ( Henry VIII ) day.

Sir Thomas Wyatt (1503-1542) was one of those who hung around Henry's court. If he'd found somewhere else to go he might have avoided trouble. In his favor, he was ambassador to the Holy Roman Emperor, Charles II of Spain. Working with the Earl of Surry, the two men were the first ones to introduce sonnets into English. Wyatt, himself didn't see any of his own works published during his lifetime. He received a knighthood in 1535 but trouble arrived in the form of Anne Boleyn when he was accused of being her lover, or one of them. He was held in the Bell Tower where he witnessed Anne's execution on May 15, 1536.

Sir Edmond Dyer (1543-1607) was employed in missions to the Netherlands in 1554 and Denmark in 1589. He was knighted in 1596.

Sir Walter Raleigh (1552-1618) was named captain of Elizabeth's guard and was known as an explorer. He established a colony near Roanoke Island. His journals kept the queen informed of his accomplishments. He was knighted in 1585.

Sir Phillip Sydney (1554-1586) had a little more going for him, being the nephew of Robert Dudley, Earl of Leicester. Dudley was a confidant and favorite of Elizabeth's. There were also rumors about their closeness.  Anyway, Sydney often served in the diplomatic service as a political liason between the queen and the Protestant faction.  Sydney was knighted in 1583, under rather odd circumstances. His friend Prince Casimir was to be admitted to the Order of the Garter but couldn't attend the ceremony so he asked Sydney to stand in for him. The only way Sydney could qualify to do the favor was to be knighted. Once again, politics intervened.

William Shakespeare's works have been around for centuries. The problem with his background is  his mysterious childhood. No one knows his real date of birth. For that matter, there are questions about whether or not he really existed. He's thought to be a blend of several writers, in the same way that King Arthur and Robin Hood are, in theory, blends of several people of their times. There's really no definitive documents to say otherwise.

William Wordsworth (1770-1850) helped found the Romantic Movement in English Literature. He also became Poet Laureate in 1843 and kept the title for the rest of his life. He had no political ties.

During the Regency period, George Gordon Byron (1788-1824) was a titled lord by right of birth and had no need of a knighthood. 

Alfred, Lord Tennyson had a middle class birth but he could claim noble/royal ancestry. He became Poet Laureate after the death of Samuel Taylor Coleridge. Prime Minister Disraeli twice offered Tennyson a baronetcy which he declined. In 1883 he finally accepted a peerage title of baron from Prime Minister Gladstone. That gave him the privilege of sitting in the House of Lords in 1884.

Apparently writers like Charles Dickens whose works have survived and still are enjoyed for over a hundred years didn't have the proper connections to allow them to achieve knighthood.

When I searched for more current names given knighthood I really couldn't find any for writing, although the most familiar names are celebrities in the Arts and Entertainment field: Anthony Hopkins, Sean Connery, Elton John, Paul McCartney to name a few.  One man, a well-known director/producer, earned an honorary title for having doubled theater attendance in Great Britain during the 1980s.  To me, that was the oddest reason to bestow a title, even if it is honorary.

 There's also the feminine form of knighthood awarded to Maggie Smith, Judith Dench and Diana Rigg. The ladies have the privilege of adding "Dame"  in front of their names. These are off the top of my head and I'm sure there are others I've missed. No offense meant to any of them.

My impulsive theory proved true for the most part. While the works of Elizabethan, Regency and Victorian writers have pretty much survived down to our day, these men achieved their knighthoods, not through their writings but through their relationships with nobility and/or their political activities.

Most of us have little political influence and we aren't related to royalty. We might not have titles to reach for but we can hope to achieve success and a sense of accomplishment by entertaining our readers.

Trials of Patchwork Writing

Every writer has their way of writing. Many can start from the beginning of their story and take it straight through to the end. That's something I've only been able to do once or twice in all the stories I've written. I can get so far into a story then I have no idea what comes next. My hero or heroine might have a problem or be caught in a jam and I have a difficult time getting them out of it. And they don't always care to help.

I'm a patchwork writer. When I get a story idea I can write the beginning and ending. That's the completed quilt top and backing.  I know what the gist of the story is going to be, the over all pattern. The rest of the quilt is done in blocks. Every block or scene represents a single idea that has to be assembled just right so it forms an interesting pattern. Some patterns end up being more complex than others, have more pieces to them. Some blocks have missing pieces and I end up having to go back a few times until I find the right threads to use to finish the block. How many blocks I make depends on the size of the quilt I want. A lap quilt is great for a short story. I can usually come up with enough to create a twin size, not too small, not too big. So far I haven't been able to manage a king size quilt. That takes a lot of room, material and imagination to complete.

Once the blocks are designed and ready to be assembled it's time to figure out the logical order. If one block is out or order, it can ruin the whole pattern. It's like playing a game of solitaire. If you don't notice that one misplaced card you don't get to properly finish the game.

Next comes stitching all the pieces together so they form one cohesive unit. The colors blend  together,  the small design pieces work to form a larger design. Sometimes in the sewing, the edges are slightly off and I have to go back and figure out the best way to solve the problem. If the bridges that join the blocks are off, even slightly, there's no getting from one scene to another without getting wet. Nobody wants to get wet like that.

Sometimes, when everything is put together in the right places I find the pattern is a bit smaller than I wanted. Then it's a matter of how to fix that problem. The easiest way is to make a few more blocks in the direction you need to go. With written blocks, it's not so hard to expand the scenes I have in order to make the story longer. Sometimes I come up with a whole new block to add in. It either clarifies something that's already going on or it's a new idea that takes the plot a bit further. When I figure I've got a completed story then I just dress it up with a border, then bind it off. Once the quilt stitching is completed, then the story, for better or worse is finally done.

I'm sure there are easier ways to do it but I never could see my way through other methods. My brain and imagination have always functioned on a more complicated level. Believe me, sometimes that can be frustrating. On the other hand it's allowed me to come up with late-in-the-story twists that I didn't see coming. It's more fun that way.

Would I change my method if I could? Probably not. As long as there are folks who like the results then it's worth sticking with.

That's the way I work. It's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Updated Words.... New words... Really?

Okay.  This has been bothering me for some time now and as a retired editor, I decided I had to finally say something. Keep in mind I'm only expressing my opinion on the subject matter, so Please, no torches.

I'm an avid reader. I admit, in the last couple years I haven't been reading as much since other things have made claims on my time. (They say when you retire you'll have more time to do the things you love. Know any more jokes?) There have been a few subtle changes in grammar that apparently no one has seen fit to question, at least no one I've heard from.

When we learned basic grammar in school, we learned about the tenses of words: present, past, future, etc.  I can remember being given a list of words for homework and having to write those words in all their forms. It was fun and challenging. It gave us a start to putting words together and making sense of them. I know. We're talking in sentences before we even go off to school. But learning about sentences and the parts of speech that go into the making of them help us to understand how language is used, created, or just exists. Watching the slow deterioration of language makes me wonder what is being taught now, if anything. There are aspects of language that are no longer deemed important, what with the advent of social media, texting, spelling and sentence structure is going the way of the dodo.

So getting to the heart of the matter. At first I figured, typo, a writing error that wasn't caught. Typos can happen in the printing process, then it's kind of too late to do anything about them. Nobody's perfect. Or it could be a mistake on the part of the writer where something isn't caught and continues to linger in future books. The bad part is when those errors (I'd like to believe that's how they started out) become the norm.

Lighted?  Shined?  Drug???  Are they for real?  ex.: Mary lighted the candles on the birthday cake. It doesn't even sound right, more like a child that has yet to learn about grammar. What happened to ... Mary lit the candles...

Or how about, John shined the flashlight around the room. Shined is meant for shoes, not sources of light. While the right way to say the same might be, John shone the flashlight around the room. I admit it's a bit awkward even though it's the proper form. It might be better as John directed the flashlight beam into the corner of the room.

And the worst of the three. Harry drugged the body away from the door. Drugged??? Did Harry cause the body to take on a chemical stupor? Sounds ridiculous. In this case Harry dragged the body away from the door. It's dead weight figuratively and literally and dragging is about the only way to move it. Granted, these are mild compared to one other item I was made aware of.

Some powers that be might be more concerned with finding ways to remain relevant in a world gone tech crazy. Not only are they accepting senseless forms of words, but they also accept new words that are inconsiderate to say the least as well as downright insulting. Recently, a new word was accepted by a particular dictionary as acceptable. It's one that is aimed at a specific group of people. I won't mention the word here, it's that nasty.  Is this what we are degenerating into with the push to make changes in our language? I know words change in meaning and other words are created to better explain the world around us, but there's such a thing as taking it too far.

As members of a vocation that uses one of the greatest forms of communication, it's up to authors and editors, more than anyone else in the industry, to make sure we present the language, both written and spoken,  at its best.