Are We Sending Bad Messages?

A few days ago Disney announced they had changed the appearance of their latest female character, Merida, and showed a side-by-side makeover.

Now, when they first introduced this gal in the animated movie, Brave, she was feisty, not willing to settle into a typical female role. Her attitude was "someday, but not now." You have to admire the gal for wanting to find her own path at least for a while. She didn't feel the need for a Prince Charming in her life.

The controversy over the change is a valid one. The 'new' Merida is older, more mature, and appears sexy and sophisticated. Is this the kind of message we want to give our daughters...that sexy and sophisticated are the only things worth pursuing? It takes away from the individual and denies girls the right to be themselves.  (It doesn't mean boys aren't faced with similar challenges.) This kind of 'indoctrination' begins in early childhood.

Toddlers and tiaras? The first five years is when kids should be learning to play and get along with others their age, making friends. Instead, they're being taught to compete. Is this what we want for our kids? Our grandkids? The first five years of a child's life is when their personality is set. By the time they begin school, there's little if anything, to be done about the person they've become.

The first five years are the most important when it comes to kids beginning to discover who they are. We should be nurturing that process, encouraging their interests and ensuring they don't move onto a false turn or wrong path.  There's a big difference between nurturing and molding, and sometimes, as a parent, it's hard to know the difference.  We try to mold them with values so they can grow up to be good people. But we also want to encourage some individuality. We're not cut with cookie cutters. Neither should our kids be expected to fit certain molds.

There isn't much we can do about perceptions of the world in general. We can only deal with our small personal worlds and the little ones who populate it. When my boys were small I often heard, "I can't wait till I grow up." My response to them? "Don't be in a hurry. Enjoy being a kid as long as you can because once you grow up, you're a grownup for the rest of your life."

 

As to Merida, granted she's an animated character but even she can wield a great deal of influence on our young. I like the first message she sends: Be yourself. Explore your interests and discover who you are and what you're good at. Responsibility will come soon enough.


Get lost in the mists of time.